Jessie J has shared that while she cries herself to sleep each night following a heartbreaking miscarriage, she’s ‘not quitting on her happiness’.
The singer revealed last month she had suffered a pregnancy loss after deciding to have a family of her own, as she shared a photo of herself holding a positive pregnancy test with fans.
Jessie, 33, had kept the pregnancy private but shared her story ahead of a gig in LA, admitting she didn’t know how she would ‘get through the show without breaking down’.
While she was immediately met with an outpouring of love from fans, friends and fellow celebrities, she shared an update on Tuesday morning shining a light on how hard it’s been for her.
Writing on her Instagram that ‘life be lifing, but we move,’ the star added alongside a video of her getting about New York City on a rickshaw: ‘Still not myself. Still cry myself to sleep some nights. Still working it all out. Still fighting.’
Jessie went on: ‘Not quitting on my happiness or myself. This year was phew. *Heavy sigh*.
‘But I will keep climbing out of the sadness, my happiness is my responsibility, not anyone else’s. I will not be putting bandaids on the problems and heavy feelings but really feeling them and healing them.
‘Gotta practice what I tell everyone else to do in these damn songs.
‘Thank you @ohhalx for 24 hours of crying, laughing, eating and finding inspiration in the little things in life. The support is needed more than you know.
‘And no we are not a couple. But feel free to imagine it. It would be hot.’
In November Jessie revealed she had been pregnant but was told there was no longer a heartbeat during her third scan.
In a heartfelt Instagram post, the singer explained: ‘Yesterday morning I was laughing with a friend saying “seriously though how am I going to get through my gig in LA tomorrow night without telling the whole audience I am pregnant”.
‘By yesterday afternoon I was dreading the thought of getting through the gig without breaking down…
‘After going for my 3rd scan and being told there was no longer a heartbeat 💔.
‘This morning. I feel like I have no control of my emotions. I may regret posting this. I may not. I actually don’t know.’
Jessie, who was previously told she couldn’t have children, explained that she was determined to still go ahead with her concert in Los Angeles tonight, not to ‘avoid the grief’ but because singing will help her.
‘I have done 2 shows in 2 years and my soul needs it. Even more today. I know some people will be thinking she should just cancel it. But in this moment I have clarity on one thing. I started singing when I was young for joy, to fill my soul and self love therapy, that hasn’t ever changed and I have to process this my way,’ she wrote.
‘I want to be honest and true and not hide what I’m feeling. I deserve that. I want to be as myself as I can be in this moment. Not just for the audience but for myself and my little baby that did it’s best.’
The star went on to reveal that she ‘decided to have a baby on [her] own’ as it’s been her lifelong dream and ‘life is short’.
‘To get pregnant was a miracle in itself and an experience I will never forget and I know I will have again,’ she said.
Sharing her heartbreak, Jessie added: ‘Im [sic] still in shock, the sadness is overwhelming. But I know I am strong, and I know I will be ok.
‘I also know millions of women all over the world have felt this pain and way worse. I feel connected to those of you I know and those of you I don’t.
‘It’s the loneliest feeling in the world.’
Pregnancy loss helpline
For emotional support, you can contact Miscarriage Association’s pregnancy loss helpline on 01924 200799 or email [email protected]
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