North gets spoiled, Kanye offends Kris’ boyfriend and Kendall is over boarding Kourtney and her kids.
The woman behind Nori’s Black Book — a viral parody Instagram account written entirely in the voice of Kim Kardashian’s sassy 5-year-old daughter — is bringing her talents to TooFab.
Each week, "Nori" will be recapping new episodes of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" and giving us HER take on all the family drama.
(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)
This week’s episode of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" started with mommy, Auntie KoKo, Auntie Kourt, and Scott taking a facial yoga class. I took this class when I wanted to work on my facial expressions not being so judgmental. I clearly didn’t pass the class.
In the next scene Kris called Auntie KoKo to arrange what she assumed was a girls trip to Palm Springs. Of course, she wanted to bring one of the Malikas with her. You couldn’t pay me to tell you which one.
Right after she hung up with Kris, mommy called asking Auntie KoKo to take me in a limo for a day. She agreed to it because it’s in the script for this episode.
Later at Auntie Kendall’s house, Auntie Kourt was still living there because her house is being defired and the air quality still isn’t good. Her and the Disick kids had completely taken over the home. Let’s see, Auntie Kourt living off of a more successful sister? Seems pretty on brand for her.
Next, because we have nothing left to film for this show, Auntie Koko picked me up in a limo. Of course, it was the wrong limo. I requested a white, unicorn limo and she showed up in a black one. Someone lost their job that day.
After the limo disaster, Auntie Koko took me to something called a ‘diner’ where the food was not on my Keto diet. Strike number 2. The day was huge waste of my time. Luckily, Auntie Koko quickly realized that my love and affection could be bought. We took a trip to the pet store where she bought me a hamster. Mommy wasn’t too happy about it, but now she knows how I feel every time she brings a baby home without my permission.
Later, Auntie Kendall called Kris and told her she’s a little annoyed that Auntie Kourt is still living at her house. Kris advised her that she can just kindly tell her to move out and she shouldn’t be afraid to tell her so. Auntie Kendall agreed, but she hates confrontation. I actually love confrontation. It’s the reason I get out of be in the morning.
At Kris’ house, mommy tells Auntie KoKo, Soctt, Auntie Kourt, and Kris that DadYe sent a rude text to Kris’ boyfriend, Corey. The text said that we as a family don’t really know Corey and DadYe was questioning why we haven’t met any of Corey’s family.
"Kanye texted Corey really rude. Kanye was like, I think it’s weird we’ve never met his family," said Mommy. "Of course we’ve all felt that way and thought that, but for Kanye to just so bluntly say that to him … I feel like that was the wrong choice to make at that time."
Auntie KoKo said she agreed with DadYe — saying Corey hasn’t been "receptive" in getting to know them — and Kris got very defensive. "I just wish I knew why [Kanye] has to bring bad energy into the field at 6:00 in the morning. I would never disrespect somebody and say that," said Kris.
I sent the same text to Jonathan later that week.
In Palm Springs, Auntie KoKo was surprised to see that Kris invited Corey because she thought the trip was a girl’s trip. At a very awkward dinner, Corey brought up how he’s been accused of being secretive. He has clearly heard about everything Auntie Koko has been saying about him. Unable to handle the shade, Auntie Koko and one of the Malikas excused themselves from the table.
In the next scene, everyone’s favorite "Why are you here?" girl, Larsa, visited Auntie Kourt at Auntie Kendall’s house. Larsa helped Auntie Kourt understand that she has overstayed her welcome at Auntie Kendall’s house. Larsa would know. Every time she tries to divorce Scottie Pippen she stays a day too long at Auntie Kourt’s house.
Next, Kris had a talk with Auntie KoKo about Corey. Kris thought her behavior towards him lately has been uncalled for. Kris said she feels ganged up on and she wants Auntie Koko to be nice. She also said that Corey is really taking care of her, more than anyone has in her entire life. Auntie KoKo ended up apologizing because she wants Kris to be happy.
Later mommy and Auntie KoKo had a talk with Corey to clear the air. They explained to him that in the past their dad had people come into his life that were nice and flipped, so that’s why there were so protective with Kris. They apologized to him for everything and everyone agreed to move forward. Corey and I have also patched up our relationship up after we fell out when he tried to make me call him grandpa. Sorry, but no one under the age of 40 gets to be called grandpa.
"Keeping Up with the Kardashians" airs Sundays on E!
Instagram Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian SIZZLE in Bikinis While on Girls Trip in Turks and Caicos
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