‘Forget I’m A Celeb animals, I’m worried about humanity’ says Ryan-Mark Parsons

The Apprentice star Ryan-Mark Parsons is back with his exclusive Daily Star column, discussing the biggest topics in showbiz and television of the week.

This week, he's not having the backlash against I'm a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! for its use of live animals in trials – which is nothing new.

Celebs Go Dating is back for a new season in a lavish mansion, but the cast – including Wayne Lineker, Chloe Ferry and Curtis Pritchard – has left Ryan-Mark eager for more excitement.

And while Celebs Go Dating might not get Ryan-Mark's approval, the new season of Netflix smash hit The Crown certainly does.

I’m A Celeb crybabies (I’m talking about the viewers)

This year's I’m A Celeb has bored me to shreds. I’m sick and tired of it.

Jordan’s melodrama, Jessica’s personality, AJ’s irrelevance… I could go on.

After discovering the show received 607 Ofcom complaints in one week, I was beginning to understand why.

However, I’ve now realised the complaints aren’t anything about the pathetic celebs.

In fact, soppy viewers are more concerned with live animals and insects being used for trials.

A petition has been created, and so far more than 4,000 people have signed it, registering their concern for animals being used on the show.

The RSPCA have come forward saying, “There have also been incidents where animals have been killed for no other purpose than entertainment.”

Goodness me!

You would think Jordan North is behind this dramatic nonsense. How ridiculous.

Number one, I’m still trying to grasp what could motivate someone to make a complaint to Ofcom.

I can understand an angry tweet, but there are clearly 607 people — at least — who need to get off their a***s and do something meaningful in life.

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Number two, the snowflake situation is so bad currently, we have viewers petitioning and making an unnecessary fuss about insects. Insects! You saw it correctly.

Give me a break!

Clearly, snakes, rats and other sentient animals used in trials are unharmed, that’s obvious. So there shouldn’t be a problem, whatsoever.

Iolo Williams, Springwatch presenter, has suggested the insects are "non-native" which could cause several ecological problems, also raising moral concerns about “using wild animals for entertainment".

My eyes are rolling incredibly hard right now…

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I can’t politely express how outrageous all of this is.

The economy is crumbling, people’s livelihoods are at risk, and there’s a jumped-up broadcaster making statements to press about ants.

According to reports, the Welsh police are investigating news the insects could harm local wildlife.

A spokesperson for ITV said: “All insects used on I’m A Celebrity are non-invasive species.”

You couldn’t make it up: sad viewers, one ludicrous TV presenter, and a local police force wasting time on… insects.

Forget the animals, I’m worried about the state of humanity.

Celebs Go Dating OAP-style with Wayne Lineker

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Come on grannies! Wayne Lineker is on the prowl.

After his bizarre Instagram post a few months ago pleading for love, Wayne has incidentally landed himself on Celebs Go Dating.

The agents now have the difficult job of finding him love, especially during the pandemic, with the elderly being forced to shield and many care homes out of bounds – what will they do?

A real shame for Wayne.

If you think it couldn’t get any worse, joining him is an even more desperate Chloe Ferry.

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Oddly, she’s on the series again "looking" for a man to complete her.

An even greater challenge for the agents; I suspect she’s more interested in her fee as opposed to looking for true love.

But you can’t blame her – this is an easy way to keep the heating on.

Karim Zeroual is also taking part – do you remember him from Strictly? He was very good and came across a sweetheart.

I suspect he’s on the show for genuine reasons, and I’m sure he’ll find someone very quickly.

On the other hand, Curtis Pritchard is now looking for love after Maura Higgins mortifyingly passed him off for another Love Islander (who can blame her?).

The relationship involving Curtis and Maura seemed more fake than their white smiles.

Just in it for the money, as always.

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I have no doubt he’s taking part to boost his brand whilst his brother, AJ, is eating rice and beans in the I’m A Celeb castle.

Firstly, can this guy not find a partner without the need of a TV show?

Secondly, who’s going to tell this tiresome duo that they haven’t got what Ant and Dec have: personality.

They’re drier than cardboard.

AJ has barely made an impact on I’m A Celeb. A silent member of the cast trying to use his body to keep the public on side.

I can’t stand them, truly awful brothers!

As for the rest of the cast, I could’t care less.

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I lost total interest when Made In Chelsea’s Sophie Hermann said “she’s too famous for dating apps” – please!

You make a few sedative appearances on Made In Chelsea with Mark Francis — the most needless member of the MIC cast.

She’s not living in reality, and good luck to anyone dating her, they won’t stand a chance against her preposterous "I’m too famous" guise.

At least the series will take place in a lush £30million mansion in Surrey, which is compensation for the scenes we’re bound to endure of Wayne taking his false teeth out and sharing memories of World War One.

The controversial Crown – 5*

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I’m enthralled. The most captivating show I’ve watched this year on Netflix, TV or indeed the cinema.

The casting, cinematography, acting, writing, music and so much more make this a true masterpiece of the small screen.

I’m blown away by Gillian Anderson’s Margaret Thatcher, what a performance!

Again, Olivia Colman exceeds herself and embodies the role of The Queen magnificently.

I have to remind myself this isn’t a documentary; it’s so easy to fall into the action and take every word for gospel.

We must remember at all times, it tells a story of hardship between the late Princess Diana and Prince Charles, a marriage destined for failure.

Vert difficult for living members of the Royal Family who can’t escape news of the show, or see press relating to horrid affair.

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Diana’s hamartia was her complete innocence, rapidly being pulled into a world of rules and public scrutiny; a cold and distant family scarred by their own troubles and pressures – she wasn’t made for that life.

Also, battling with the presence of Camilla Parker-Bowles who, of course, later married Charles and is the current Duchess of Cornwall.

The tales portrayed on-screen have implicated Earl Spencer, Princess Diana’s brother.

He spoke to Lorraine earlier this week, making it clear from the start of the interview that “this isn’t true but it is based around some real events” – yes, we all knew that.

He also told Lorraine that he was unhappy about how his Scottish grandmother was being characterised in an “unpleasant way.”

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He later divulged the abuse he’s received following the release of the series.

Americans have accused the Earl of calling them "ignorant" by suggesting they’re “consuming something with the assumption it’s very, very accurate”, when of course most of the drama is a creative invention.

I doubt the trolling has really affected Earl Spencer, but he raised a credible point of people believing what they see in dramatic work and taking it as irrefutable truth.

For me, it was obvious scenes have been manufactured to capture an audience and to make money – that’s not a mystery.

I can understand why others, and in the words of the Earl, “foreigners”, may struggle with dissevering fact and fiction when they might not be aware of our history, which is fair enough and he meant no harm in making that clear.

Regardless of his troubles, the show has been a resounding success with people tuning in from all over the world.

A total of 73million households have watched The Crown since 2016, and I won’t be surprised if that number increases exponentially, as more audiences are drawn in by the wonders of this programme.

Bravo! Ryan-Mark Approved.

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