TOM Zanetti has rapped about feeling suicidal in an emotional new song about his struggles, following the tragic death of his girlfriend.
The 31-year-old DJ's world was rocked in 2010, aged 21, when his girlfriend of three years, Lizzie Pickavance, died in a car crash.
Appearing on Charlie Sloth's YouTube for his first Fire In The Booth freestyle, Tom sang about understanding when people have "had enough and just want to die".
"These are my issues and I know I'm not the only one who's feeling them," he rapped.
"We're too brave and too proud, haunted by demons we're all concealing them.
"It's OK to speak out, just get it off your chest and start revealing them.
"At night I'm worrying, I wake up and I worry again.
"Every day I'm rushing and hurrying and can't wait for the day to end.
"I've been rock bottom, been bankrupt twice.
"I've been suicidal when my girlfriend died.
"Been without sleep for days into months and my head is nearly gone from prescription drugs."
YOU’RE NOT ALONE
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
It doesn't discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It's the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
Yet it's rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You're Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let's all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others… You're Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
- CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
- Heads Together, www.headstogether.org.uk
- Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
- Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
- Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123
The singer recently split from Made in Chelsea's Sophie Hermann – six months after falling for one another on E4's Celebs Go Dating.
A source told The Sun that distance has played a factor in their break-up, with Sophie lives in London while Tom is based in Leeds to be close to his teenage son.
Tom has previously told how he spent years "trying to replace" his late girlfriend, 20, who was killed on her way home from work.
She lost control of her car on the M62 near Gildersome and the vehicle smashed into a tree and passed away in hospital.
Tom told how Lizzie was "the one" as he reflected on why he hasn't yet settled down.
He told The Sun: "She was the one, that's what's difficult, I suppose if you want to be honest and deep about it.
"I met Lizzie when I were 18 and I had three good years with her. It was just perfect. And then after she died, I just lost my head a bit and I was trying to replace what I had with her.
"She was the one and it does make you think: 'I might be chasing that same thing again.' And then when I realise that that person isn't Lizzie, then it doesn't work."
Tom continued: "When I was like 16, and it's going to sound daft, but I always pictured myself being married with kids when I was 26. That was my aim in life.
"When you're younger you think stuff like that and obviously life doesn't work out like that. So if I'd have stayed with Lizzie, that would have been the plan, but obviously it didn't work out.
"So I feel like after Liz, I had two years just a bit off the rails, in a sense, and then every girlfriend I tried to settle down with to get what I had with her.
"I gave everything, I was completely loyal, just to see where it'd go without any false pretences and those relationships have not worked out.
"I am a family man, very family oriented, I've always wanted that kind of life. So I don't know, we'll see what happens. I don't want to give too much away of myself again."
If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please call the Samaritans for free on 16123.
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