Meghan McCain, co-host of ABC’s The View, is known for being outspoken on her political beliefs. She recently decided to share something more personal, and wrote about her devastating experience of having a miscarriage earlier this year in an op-ed for the New York Times. Some may wonder why McCain chose to be so open about something so painful, but she had a very selfless reason.
A day that should’ve been a celebration
The View has recently been lauded as the political show to watch. In May, the New York Times Magazine published an article on the daily talk show entitled “How ‘The View’ Became the Most Important TV Show in America.” The recognition and affirmation of the show’s significance was a major landmark for the program, and a cause for celebration by all involved. For McCain, what should have been a victorious moment was marred by her loss.
“A few weeks ago, I was part of the photo shoot for The New York Times Magazine’s cover story about ABC’s ‘The View.’ It should have been a moment of triumph — a vindication of the show’s significance as a place at the center of political debate, a ratings boom, a must for the top tier of presidential candidates,” she wrote in the op-ed. “I look back at those pictures now, and I see a woman hiding her shock and sorrow. I am posed for the camera… But inside, I am dying. Inside, my baby is dying… The confirmation from my doctor came the day of that photo shoot, at the worst possible time.”
Casting a light to dispel the stigma
The talk show co-host was sure to include alarming statistics in her piece for the New York Times, calling attention to how many women go through the trauma of a miscarriage. “My miscarriage was a horrendous experience and I would not wish it upon anyone,” she wrote. “Yet for all its horrors, it is distressingly common. Estimates range from one in 10 to one in four pregnancies end in miscarriages. That’s about three million lost children in America each year. That is all the more reason women need to be able to speak about this publicly, without the stigma and the lack of knowledge that pervades the issue.”
It is clear from her piece that McCain wants to eliminate the stigma attached to miscarriages. “Because even to this day, the subject of a miscarriage carries so much cultural taboo. Miscarriage is a pain too often unacknowledged,” she wrote. “We feel sorrow and we weep because our babies were real… We deserve the opportunity to speak openly of them, to share what they were and to mourn. More important, they deserve to be spoken of, shared and mourned. These children, shockingly small, shockingly helpless, entirely the work of our love and our humanity, are children.”
Encouraging others not to blame themselves
McCain revealed in her op-ed that she placed the fault on herself when she first suffered her miscarriage. “I blamed myself. Perhaps it was wrong of me to choose to be a professional woman, working in a high-pressure, high-visibility, high-stress field, still bearing the burden of the recent loss of my father and facing on top of that the arrows that come with public life,” she wrote. “I blamed my age, I blamed my personality. I blamed everything and anything a person could think of, and what followed was a deep opening of shame.”
Fortunately, McCain was able to overcome those feelings of blame, looking to her faith for help and comfort. “Yet it is not my fault. Fault and blame are not at work here,” she wrote. “When Job demanded answers of God, God reminded him: ‘Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand.’ I do not understand. Life and death are beyond our power. This miscarriage has reminded me of that truth. And it has reminded me of one other truth: Love is within our power.”
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“It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” ~ Rocky Balboa 🥊🥊🥊🥊 Thank you for so many beautiful and kind responses to my New York Times @nytimes op-ed about my recent miscarriage. Ben and I are the luckiest, most incredibly blessed people in the world surrounded by love and support. My hope is by continuing to share grief and loss, and addressing these taboo subjects head on it will help people who have experienced the same to feel less alone. None of us are alone in this. I was petrified to share my story publicly but I never, ever let fear dictate my life choices. I will always take the leap, I will always roll the dice. 🎲 And to this man who loves my wild heart, has never tried to change a single thing about me, and continues to be the greatest source of strength, love and faith a woman could ever ask for ~ I thank God for sending you to me every day, Ben. #rideordie
Her main message and purpose of the piece was to stand in unity with others who have endured the same loss, and to find comfort in each other. “I had a miscarriage. I loved my baby, and I always will. To the end of my days I will remember this child — and whatever children come will not obscure that,” she wrote. “I have love for my child. I have love for all the women who, like me, were briefly in the sisterhood of motherhood, hoping, praying and nursing joy within us, until the day the joy was over. You are not alone.”
McCain recently thanked people for their support in an Instagram post, saying, ““Ben and I are the luckiest, most incredibly blessed people in the world surrounded by love and support,” she posted. “My hope is by continuing to share grief and loss, and addressing these taboo subjects head on it will help people who have experienced the same to feel less alone. None of us are alone in this.”
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